Diaspora in Distress!

UNHEARD CRIES OF SOUTH SUDANESE IN DIASPORA.

DAU BARNABAS MANYOK

I would like to express this in the best way possible before I leave Facebook once again and go back to my nest. Hope you pick what soothes you. Here we go, check it out.

Just like any other south Sudanese of my age, I was born in South Sudan at a time which was frequented by wars and other disorganising stuff. You might ask how my parents sired me knowing the dangers but you can ask them, I got no clue. At a very young age, I was drafted into what was called 'Jesh Amer' and was taken to training camps in Ethiopia at the young age of 6 or 7yrs. It filled me with pride because I was not the only one there, some children my age were brought from different tribal backgrounds in South Sudan. As Dr Garang said, we were to be the future leaders of South Sudan and that filled our hearts with joy.

Following up to the words of Garang, some were lucky to sneak out of those camps to refugee camps in Kakuma and many parts of the world. Others were resettled into various foreign countries in the west like, UK 🇬🇧, USA 🇺🇸, Canada 🍁, and Australia 🇦🇺. As you can tell from my writings, I happened to be one of those who went abroad(Aheer) and became what was so famously known as 'Lost Boy'.

Nothing was easy, the land was different, people were different too and everything was a shock. We had fewer options, to snap and decide to pack and go back to a war infested country and probably get killed OR man up and manoeuvre through this foreign culture and hope that one day am gonna succeed and be accepted into this awkward way of life. I chose the latter coz even if I was to go back, it would have taken years to achieve that. I forgot everything and went to work. I put myself through Primary , Secondary and Tertiary Schools and at the same time working to sustain my new adapted lifestyle. All this time, I was longing to hear from my people at home but it was difficult because telephone lines were very scarce and technology was just picking up. I prayed and hoped that they were okay. As I was doing all these stuffs, time was also ticking and I was growing from the sun beaten shy boy to a young man.

Communication became open when mobile phones were developed and boom, I got connected to my rather extended family and some other relatives. That easiness in communication begins to look like a curse because it opened up to alot of responsibilities which a single person can not fulfill. Of course you can fulfill them but everyone's need was too important to him that they won't understand that you need time to work and atleast get something for them. Some thought that the fact I am living and working in these big buildings 🏢 meant I have alot of money to sustain all of them.

As all of these thing were happening, I got married on the side and I handled most part of the bride price. This too became a burden on me because I got my in-laws on my back too. Now that I got married, it's obvious that we sired children who need our care and support. As all this was unfolding, I was juggling around fulfilling the needs of my family, my in laws, my children, my wife, my friends and relatives.

What seems to baffle me was the fact that none of these people put my wellbeing into consideration. None of them can call me to just talk about the new cow they bought, the new calf which was born, the plentiness of that year's harvest and some small village gossips to cheer my me up so that I don't feel detached from my own culture. I had the responsibility of educating my five siblings, my two brothers in law and their two sisters(which I don't know its reason coz I have paid the dowries but yep, that's what the culture dictates or whatever it is) , my five children's education not to mention the hospital bills for my ailing mother, my mother in law who looks up to me though she never like me when I was marrying her daughter, my father in law who need new pair of shoes, my own father who wants to marry a younger wife because my mother is old and apparently he have a son abroad who can handle it (me), the hospital bills of my family, the rent of the house I am living in, the fuel for the car I drive, the subscription fee for all my cable lines(Wi-Fi, telephone service and TV), the mortgage on the house I wanna move in, the government taxes, the insurance fee on the property I own and finally the needs of my wife. All these on the shoulder of one person which is me.

When I sat down and contemplate on these issues, I nearly loose it. At the end of the day, I might be driven into depression and even die of it and the only thing people will think about will be who to 'inherit' my wife. I could have said more on these heart wrenching stuff but they have no end because it has gone to a point where somebody is doing his own budget on your money. I totally became enemies with the phone, in that when I hear a phone ringing I know that it's some relative somewhere asking for something most especially an help on his personal emergencies like dowries for his wife, a 50 dollar for coffee ☕ (Bun) somewhere in Sherikat and many other stuff.

So my people, if you call me and I don't pick, just know I am tired to this dependency. I want you to call me and talk about sport rather than sport shoes money, talk about how you finished your sister's marriage ceremony not help for some dowry. Talk to me like a human being not a cash cow, tell me about the politics back at home, tell me about your business and its progress, tell me about the behaviours of your kids and how parenting is challenging you, tell me about that new girl you approached and was nearly beaten because of her, tell me about how you nearly got an accident but God helped you, tell me about who you are dating and how you would want to marry this girl from Acholi.

These are the things I want us to talk about. If I think of giving you something, I will do that out of my heart but not under pressure of some of your idiosyncrasies. If you call and most of your conversations are filled with how financially unstable you are, and how helping you will go a long way, I'll do that and call that relationship off.

The bottom line is; TALK TO ME LIKE A HUMAN BEING TOO.

Hope I have said most of the things you diaspora people never say just because you want to look good not sound mean.